Funny Poems

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Welcome to eDigg Funny Poems
HERE ARE hundreds of classic funny and clean poems here, from many of the greatest poets and humorists of the past, collected here for your browsing pleasure.
       Select a category from the menu at the left and enjoy the free poems, and the many humerous poetry on this site!
POEM OF THE DAY
ODE FOR A SOCIAL MEETING

        WITH SLIGHT ALTERATIONS BY A TEETOTALER

Come! fill a fresh bumper,--for why should we go
                    logwood
While the {nectar} still reddens our cups as they flow?
                             decoction
Pour out the {rich juices} still bright with the sun,
                                                                    dye-stuff
Till o'er the brimmed crystal the {rubies} shall run.
            half-ripened apples
The {purple-globed clusters} their life-dews have bled;
                                    taste                            sugar of lead
How sweet is the {breath} of the {fragrance they shed}!
                         rank poisons                            wines!!!
For Summer's {last roses} lie hid in the {wines}
                                                 stable-boys smoking long-nines
That were garnered by {maidens who laughed through the vines},
                scowl                     howl                    scoff                    sneer
Then a {smile}, and a {glass}, and a {toast}, and a {cheer},
         strychnine and whiskey, and ratsbane and beer
For {all the good wine, and we've some of it here}!

In cellar, in pantry, in attic, in hall,
    Down, down with the tyrant that masters us all!
{Long live the gay servant that laughs for us all!}

                                                     Oliver Wendell Holmes.

[Transcriber's note: The words in {braces} are struck out in the
original text with alternatives above.]
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