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Category: Funny Animal Poems
       Classic humorous and funny poems about animals, snakes, lions, cats, birds, frogs, and more.


         Across the sands of Syria,
         Or, possibly, Algeria,
Or some benighted neighbourhood of barrenness and drouth,
         There came the Prophet Sam-u-el
         Upon the Only Cam-u-el--
A bumpy, grumpy Quadruped of discontented mouth.

         The atmosphere was glutinous;
         The Cam-u-el was mutinous;
He dumped the pack from off his back; with horrid grunts and squeals
         He made the desert hideous;
         With strategy perfidious
He tied his neck in curlicues, he kicked his paddy heels.

         Then quoth the gentle Sam-u-el,
         "You rogue, I ought to lam you well!
Though zealously I've shielded you from every grief and woe,
         It seems, to voice a platitude,
         You haven't any gratitude.
I'd like to hear what cause you have for doing thus and so!"

         To him replied the Cam-u-el,
         "I beg your pardon, Sam-u-el.
I know that I'm a Reprobate, I know that I'm a Freak;
         But, oh! this utter loneliness!
         My too-distinguished Onliness!
Were there but other Cam-u-els I wouldn't be Unique."

         The Prophet beamed beguilingly.
         "Aha," he answered, smilingly,
"You feel the need of company? I clearly understand.
         We'll speedily create for you
         The corresponding mate for you--
Ho! presto, change-o, dinglebat!"--he waved a potent hand,

         And, lo! from out Vacuity
         A second Incongruity,
To wit, a Lady Cam-u-el was born through magic art.
         Her structure anatomical,
         Her form and face were comical;
She was, in short, a Cam-u-el, the other's counterpart.

         As Spaniards gaze on Aragon,
         Upon that Female Paragon
So gazed the Prophet's Cam-u-el, that primal Desert Ship.
         A connoisseur meticulous,
         He found her that ridiculous
He grinned from ear to auricle until he split his lip!

         Because of his temerity
         That Cam-u-el's posterity
Must wear divided upper lips through all their solemn lives!
         A prodigy astonishing
         Reproachfully admonishing
Those, wicked, heartless married men who ridicule their wives.

                                                                                     Arthur Guiterman.

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