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Category: Funny Animal Poems
       Classic humorous and funny poems about animals, snakes, lions, cats, birds, frogs, and more.

  THE LEGEND OF THE FIRST CAM-U-EL  

         Across the sands of Syria,
         Or, possibly, Algeria,
Or some benighted neighbourhood of barrenness and drouth,
         There came the Prophet Sam-u-el
         Upon the Only Cam-u-el--
A bumpy, grumpy Quadruped of discontented mouth.

         The atmosphere was glutinous;
         The Cam-u-el was mutinous;
He dumped the pack from off his back; with horrid grunts and squeals
         He made the desert hideous;
         With strategy perfidious
He tied his neck in curlicues, he kicked his paddy heels.

         Then quoth the gentle Sam-u-el,
         "You rogue, I ought to lam you well!
Though zealously I've shielded you from every grief and woe,
         It seems, to voice a platitude,
         You haven't any gratitude.
I'd like to hear what cause you have for doing thus and so!"

         To him replied the Cam-u-el,
         "I beg your pardon, Sam-u-el.
I know that I'm a Reprobate, I know that I'm a Freak;
         But, oh! this utter loneliness!
         My too-distinguished Onliness!
Were there but other Cam-u-els I wouldn't be Unique."

         The Prophet beamed beguilingly.
         "Aha," he answered, smilingly,
"You feel the need of company? I clearly understand.
         We'll speedily create for you
         The corresponding mate for you--
Ho! presto, change-o, dinglebat!"--he waved a potent hand,

         And, lo! from out Vacuity
         A second Incongruity,
To wit, a Lady Cam-u-el was born through magic art.
         Her structure anatomical,
         Her form and face were comical;
She was, in short, a Cam-u-el, the other's counterpart.

         As Spaniards gaze on Aragon,
         Upon that Female Paragon
So gazed the Prophet's Cam-u-el, that primal Desert Ship.
         A connoisseur meticulous,
         He found her that ridiculous
He grinned from ear to auricle until he split his lip!

         Because of his temerity
         That Cam-u-el's posterity
Must wear divided upper lips through all their solemn lives!
         A prodigy astonishing
         Reproachfully admonishing
Those, wicked, heartless married men who ridicule their wives.

                                                                                     Arthur Guiterman.


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