FUNNY POEMS MENU
» Animal (34)
» Banter (80)
» Bathos (17)
» Burlesque (58)
» Cynicism (22)
» Epigrams (29)
» Immortal Stanzas (14)
» Juniors (17)
» Love & Courtship (23)
» Narrative (64)
» Nonsense (46)
» Parody (62)
» Satire (89)
» Tribute (16)
» Whimsical (83)
» Women (77)
Category: Funny Animal Poems
Classic humorous and funny poems about animals, snakes, lions, cats, birds, frogs, and more.
THE TURTLE AND FLAMINGO
lively young turtle lived down by the banks
Of a dark rolling stream called the Jingo;
And one summer day, as he went out to play,
Fell in love with a charming flamingo--
An enormously genteel flamingo!
An expansively crimson flamingo!
A beautiful, bouncing flamingo!
Spake the turtle, in tones like a delicate wheeze:
"To the water I've oft seen you in go,
And your form has impressed itself deep on my shell,
You perfectly modelled flamingo!
You tremendously A-1 flamingo!
You in-ex-press-i-ble flamingo!
"To be sure, I'm a turtle, and you are a belle,
And my language is not your fine lingo;
But smile on me, tall one, and be my bright flame,
You miraculous, wondrous flamingo!
You blazingly beauteous flamingo!
You turtle-absorbing flamingo!
You inflammably gorgeous flamingo!"
Then the proud bird blushed redder than ever before,
And that was quite un-nec-es-sa-ry,
And she stood on one leg and looked out of one eye,
The position of things for to vary,--
This aquatical, musing flamingo!
This dreamy, uncertain flamingo!
This embarrasing, harassing flamingo!
Then she cried to the quadruped, greatly amazed:
"Why your passion toward me do you hurtle?
I'm an ornithological wonder of grace,
And you're an illogical turtle,--
A waddling, impossible turtle!
A low-minded, grass-eating turtle!
A highly improbable turtle!"
Then the turtle sneaked off with his nose to the ground
And never more looked at the lasses;
And falling asleep, while indulging his grief,
Was gobbled up whole by Agassiz,--
The peripatetic Agassiz!
The turtle-dissecting Agassiz!
The illustrious, industrious Agassiz!
Go with me to Cambridge some cool, pleasant day,
And the skeleton lover I'll show you;
He's in a hard case, but he'll look in your face,
Pretending (the rogue!) he don't know you!
Oh, the deeply deceptive young turtle!
The double-faced, glassy-cased turtle!
The green but a very mock turtle!
James Thomas Fields.
Email this funny poem to a friend