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Category: Funny Banter Poems
       Classic humorous and funny poems in a playful, teasing, and good-natured way.

  THE TRUTH ABOUT HORACE  

It is very aggravating
To hear the solemn prating
Of the fossils who are stating
    That old Horace was a prude;
When we know that with the ladies
He was always raising Hades,
And with many an escapade his
    Best productions are imbued.

There's really not much harm in a
Large number of his carmina,
But these people find alarm in a
    Few records of his acts;
So they'd squelch the muse caloric,
And to students sophomoric
They'd present as metaphoric
    What old Horace meant for facts.

We have always thought 'em lazy;
Now we adjudge 'em crazy!
Why, Horace was a daisy
    That was very much alive!
And the wisest of us know him
As his Lydia verses show him,--
Go, read that virile poem,--
    It is No. 25.

He was a very owl, sir,
And starting out to prowl, sir,
You bet he made Rome howl, sir,
    Until he filled his date;
With a massic-laden ditty
And a classic maiden pretty,
He painted up the city,
    And Maecenas paid the freight!

                                Eugene Field.


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