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Category: Funny Burlesque Poems
Classic humorous and funny poems using comic imitation and exaggeration in an absurd way.
FOR I AM SAD
o usual words can bear the woe I feel,
No tralatitions trite give me relief!
O Webster! lend me words to voice my grief
Bitter as quassia, quass or kumquat peel!
For I am sad ... bound on the cosmic wheel,
What mad chthonophagy bids slave and chief
Through endless cycles bite the earth like beef,
By turns each cannibal and each the meal?
Turn we to nature Webster, and we see
Your whidah bird refuse all strobile fruit,
Your tragacanth in tears ooze from the tree ...
We hear your flammulated owlets hoot!
Turn we to nature, Webster, and we find
Few creatures have a quite contented mind.
Your koulan there, with dyslogistic snort,
Will leave his phacoid food on worts to browse,
While glactophorous Himalayan cows
The knurled kohl-rabi spurn in uncouth sport;
No margay climbs margosa trees; the short
Gray mullet drink no mulse, nor house
In pibcorns when the youth of Wales carouse ...
No tournure doth the toucan's tail contort ...
So I am sad! ... and yet, on Summer eves,
When xebecs search the whishing scree for whelk,
And the sharp sorrel lifts obcordate leaves,
And cryptogamous plants fulfil the elk,
I see the octopus play with his feet,
And find within this sadness something sweet.
The thing we like about that poem is its recognition of all the sorrow
there is in the universe ... its unflinching recognition, we might
say, if we were not afraid of praising our own work too highly ...
combined with its happy ending.
One feels, upon reading it, that, although everything everywhere is
very sad, and all wrong, one has only to have patience and after a
while everything everywhere will be quite right and very sweet.
No matter how interested one may be in these literary problems, one
must cease discussing them at times or one will be late to one's meals.
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