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Category: Funny Burlesque Poems
       Classic humorous and funny poems using comic imitation and exaggeration in an absurd way.

  NORTH, EAST, SOUTH, AND WEST  

Oh! I have been North, and I have been South, and the East hath seen me
             pass,
And the West hath cradled me on her breast, that is circled round with
             brass,
And the world hath laugh'd at me, and I have laugh'd at the world alone,
With a loud hee-haw till my hard-work'd jaw is stiff as a dead man's
             bone!

Oh! I have been up and I have been down and over the sounding sea,
And the sea-birds cried as they dropp'd and died at the terrible sight
             of me,
For my head was bound with a star, and crown'd with the fire of utmost
             hell,
And I made this song with a brazen tongue and a more than fiendish yell:

"Oh! curse you all, for the sake of men who have liv'd and died for
             spite,
And be doubly curst for the dark ye make where there ought to be but
             light,
And be trebly curst by the deadly spell of a woman's lasting hate,--
And drop ye down to the mouth of hell who would climb to the Golden
             Gate!"

Then the world grew green, and grim and grey at the horrible noise I
             made,
And held up its hands in a pious way when I call'd a spade a spade;
But I cared no whit for the blame of it, and nothing at all for its
             praise,
And the whole consign'd with a tranquil mind to a sempiternal blaze!

All this have I sped, and have brought me back to work at the set of
             sun,
And I set my seal to the thoughts I feel in the twilight one by one,
For I speak but sooth in the name of Truth when I write such things as
             these;

And the whole I send to a critical friend who is learned in Kiplingese!


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