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Category: Funny Burlesque Poems
       Classic humorous and funny poems using comic imitation and exaggeration in an absurd way.

  THE WEDDING  

Lady Clara Vere de Vere!
I hardly know what I must say,
But I'm to be Queen of the May, mother,
I'm to be Queen of the May!
I am half-crazed; I don't feel grave,
        Let me rave!

Whole weeks and months, early and late,
To win his love I lay in wait.
        Oh, the Earl was fair to see,
        As fair as any man could be;--
        The wind is howling in turret and tree!

We two shall be wed tomorrow morn,
    And I shall be the Lady Clare,
And when my marriage morn shall fall,
    I hardly know what I shall wear.
        But I shan't say "my life is dreary,"
            And sadly hang my head,
        With the remark, "I'm very weary,
            And wish that I were dead."

But on my husband's arm I'll lean,
    And roundly waste his plenteous gold,
Passing the honeymoon serene
    In that new world which is the old.
For down we'll go and take the boat
Beside St. Katherine's docks afloat,
Which round about its prow has wrote--
    "The Lady of Shalotter"
(Mondays and Thursdays,--Captain Foat),
    Bound for the Dam of Rotter.

                                         Thomas Hood, Jr.


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