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Category: Funny Cynicism Poems
       Classic humorous and funny poems using cynicism and a disdain for general opinion, as well as distrust of the intentions of others.

  ALL THINGS EXCEPT MYSELF I KNOW  

I know when milk does flies contain;
    I know men by their bravery;
I know fair days from storm and rain;
    And what fruit apple-trees supply;
    And from their gums the trees descry;
I know when all things smoothly flow;
    I know who toil or idle lie;
All things except myself I know.

I know the doublet by the grain;
    The monk beneath the hood can spy;
Master from man can ascertain;
    I know the nun's veiled modesty;
    I know when sportsmen fables ply;
Know fools who creams and dainties stow;
    Wine from the butt I certify;
All things except myself I know.

Know horse from mule by tail and mane;
    I know their worth or high or low;
Bell, Beatrice, I know the twain;
    I know each chance of cards and dice;
    I know what visions prophesy,
Bohemian heresies, I trow;
    I know men of each quality;
All things except myself I know.

                             ENVOY

Prince, I know all things 'neath the sky,
    Pale cheeks from those of rosy glow;
I know death whence can no man fly;
    All things except myself I know.

                                 Francois Villon.


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