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Category: Funny Cynicism Poems
       Classic humorous and funny poems using cynicism and a disdain for general opinion, as well as distrust of the intentions of others.


Life is a gift that most of us hold dear:
    I never asked the spiteful gods to grant it;
Held it a bore--in short; and now it's here,
        I do not want it.

Thrust into life, I eat, smoke, drink, and sleep,
    My mind's a blank I seldom care to question;
The only faculty I active keep
        Is my digestion.

Like oyster on his rock, I sit and jest
    At others' dreams of love or fame or pelf,
Discovering but a languid interest
        Even in myself.

An oyster: ah! beneath the quiet sea
    To know no care, no change, no joy, no pain,
The warm salt water gurgling into me
        And out again.

While some in life's old roadside inns at ease
    Sit careless, all unthinking of the score
Mine host chalks up in swift unseen increase
        Behind the door;

Bound like Ixion on life's torture-wheel,
    I whirl inert in pitiless gyration,
Loathing it all; the one desire I feel,


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