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Category: Funny Cynicism Poems
       Classic humorous and funny poems using cynicism and a disdain for general opinion, as well as distrust of the intentions of others.

  SAME OLD STORY  

History, and nature, too, repeat themselves, they say;
Men are only habit's slaves; we see it every day.
Life has done its best for me--I find it tiresome still;
For nothing's everything at all, and everything is nil.
        Same old get-up, dress, and tub;
        Same old breakfast; same old club;
        Same old feeling; same old blue;
        Same old story--nothing new!

Life consists of paying bills as long as you have health;
Woman? She'll be true to you--as long as you have wealth;
Think sometimes of marriage, if the right girl I could strike;
But the more I see of girls, the more they are alike.
        Same old giggles, smiles, and eyes;
        Same old kisses; same old sighs;
        Same old chaff you; same adieu;
        Same old story--nothing new!

Go to theatres sometimes to see the latest plays;
Same old plots I played with in my happy childhood's days;
Hero, same; same villain; and same heroine in tears,
Starving, homeless, in the snow--with diamonds in her ears.
        Same stern father making "bluffs";
        Leading man all teeth and cuffs;
        Same soubrettes, still twenty-two;
        Same old story--nothing new!

Friend of mine got married; in a year or so, a boy!
Father really foolish in his fond paternal joy;
Talked about that "kiddy," and became a dreadful bore--
Just as if a baby never had been born before.
        Same old crying, only more;
        Same old business, walking floor;
        Same old "kitchy--coochy--coo!"
        Same old baby--nothing new!

                                    Harry B. Smith.


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