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Category: Funny Narrative Poems
       Classic humorous and funny story poems. Narrative poems are written accounts of connected events in poetry format.

  BALLAD BY HANS BREITMANN  

Der noble Ritter Hugo
    Von Schwillensaufenstein
Rode out mit shpeer and helmet,
    Und he coom to de panks of de Rhine.

Und oop dere rose a meermaid,
    Fot hadn't got nodings on,
Und she say, "Oh, Ritter Hugo,
    Vhere you goes mit yourself alone?"

And he says, "I ride in de creenwood,
    Mit helmet und mit shpeer,
Till I cooms into em Gasthaus,
    Und dere I trinks some beer."

Und den outshpoke the maiden
    Vot hadn't got nodings on:
"I ton't tink mooch of beoplesh
    Dat goes mit demselfs alone.

"You'd petter coom down in de wasser,
    Vhere deres heaps of dings to see,
Und hafe a shplendid tinner
    Und drafel along mit me.

"Dere you sees de fisch a schwimmin',
    Und you catches dem efery von:"--
So sang dis wasser maiden,
    Vot hadn't got nodings on.

"Dere ish drunks all full mit money
    In ships dat vent down of old;
Und you helpsh yourself, by dunder!
    To shimmerin' crowns of gold.

"Shoost look at these shpoons and vatches!
    Shoost see dese diamant rings!
Coom down and fill your pockets,
    And I'll giss you like efery dings.

"Vot you vanst mit your schnapps and lager?
    Come down into der Rhine!
Der ish pottles de Kaiser Charlemagne
    Vonce filled mit gold-red wine!"

Dat fetched him--she shtood all shpell-pound;
    She pooled his coat-tails down;
She drawed him oonder der wasser,
    De maiden mit nodings on.

                Charles Godfrey Leland.


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