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Category: Funny Narrative Poems
       Classic humorous and funny story poems. Narrative poems are written accounts of connected events in poetry format.


In Broad Street Buildings on a winter night,
Snug by his parlor-fire a gouty wight
Sat all alone, with one hand rubbing
His feet, rolled up in fleecy hose:
While t'other held beneath his nose
The Public Ledger, in whose columns grubbing,
    He noted all the sales of hops,
    Ships, shops, and slops;
Gum, galls, and groceries; ginger, gin,
Tar, tallow, turmeric, turpentine, and tin;
When lo! a decent personage in black
Entered and most politely said:
"Your footman, sir, has gone his nightly track
    To the King's Head,
And left your door ajar; which I
Observed in passing by,
    And thought it neighborly to give you notice."
"Ten thousand thanks; how very few get,
In time of danger,
Such kind attentions from a stranger!
Assuredly, that fellow's throat is
Doomed to a final drop at Newgate:
He knows, too (the unconscionable elf!),
That there's no soul at home except myself."
"Indeed," replied the stranger (looking grave),
"Then he's a double knave;
He knows that rogues and thieves by scores
Nightly beset unguarded doors:
And see, how easily might one
    Of these domestic foes,
    Even beneath your very nose,
Perform his knavish tricks;
Enter your room, as I have done,
Blow out your candles--thus--and thus--
Pocket your silver candlesticks,
    And--walk off--thus!"--
So said, so done; he made no more remark
    Nor waited for replies,
    But marched off with his prize,
Leaving the gouty merchant in the dark.

                                                Horace Smith.

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