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Category: Funny Parody Poems
       Classic humorous and funny poems using parody - an imitation of a writer, artist, or genre, with exaggeration for comic effect.

  JOHN THOMPSON'S DAUGHTER  

A fellow near Kentucky's clime
    Cries, "Boatman, do not tarry,
And I'll give thee a silver dime
    To row us o'er the ferry."

"Now, who would cross the Ohio,
    This dark and stormy water?"
"O, I am this young lady's beau,
    And she, John Thompson's daughter.

"We've fled before her father's spite
    With great precipitation;
And should he find us here to-night,
    I'd lose my reputation.

"They've missed the girl and purse beside,
    His horsemen hard have pressed me;
And who will cheer my bonny bride,
    If yet they shall arrest me?"

Out spoke the boatman then in time,
    "You shall not fail, don't fear it;
I'll go, not for your silver dime,
    But for your manly spirit.

"And by my word, the bonny bird
    In danger shall not tarry;
For though a storm is coming on,
    I'll row you o'er the ferry."

By this the wind more fiercely rose,
    The boat was at the landing;
And with the drenching rain their clothes
    Grew wet where they were standing.

But still, as wilder rose the wind,
    And as the night grew drearer;
Just back a piece came the police,
    Their tramping sounded nearer.

"Oh, haste thee, haste!" the lady cries,
    "It's anything but funny;
I'll leave the light of loving eyes,
    But not my father's money!"

And still they hurried in the face
    Of wind and rain unsparing;
John Thompson reached the landing place--
    His wrath was turned to swearing.

For by the lightning's angry flash,
    His child he did discover;
One lovely hand held all the cash,
    And one was round her lover!

"Come back, come back!" he cried in woe,
    Across the stormy water;
"But leave the purse, and you may go,
    My daughter, oh, my daughter!"

'Twas vain; they reached the other shore
    (Such doom the Fates assign us);
The gold he piled went with his child,
    And he was left there minus.

                                            Ph[oe]be Cary.


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