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Category: Funny Parody Poems
       Classic humorous and funny poems using parody - an imitation of a writer, artist, or genre, with exaggeration for comic effect.

  OWEN SEAMAN  

Of all the mismated pairs ever created
    The worst of the lot were the Spratts.
Their life was a series of quibbles and queries
    And quarrels and squabbles and spats.
They argued at breakfast, they argued at tea,
And they argued from midnight to quarter past three.

The family Spratt-head was rather a fat-head,
    And a bellicose body to boot.
He was selfish and priggish and worse, he was piggish--
    A regular beast of a brute.
At table his acts were incredibly mean;
He gave his wife fat--and he gobbled the lean!

What's more, she was censured whenever she ventured
    To dare to object to her fare;
He said "It ain't tasteful, but we can't be wasteful;
    And someone must eat what is there!"
But his coarseness exceeded all bounds of control
When he laughed at her Art and the State of her Soul.

So what with his jeering and fleering and sneering,
    He plagued her from dawn until dark.
He bellowed "I'll teach ye to read Shaw and Nietzsche"--
    And he was as bad as his bark.
"The place for a woman----" he'd start, very glib....
And so on, for two or three hours ad lib.

So very malignant became his indignant
    Remarks about "Culture" and "Cranks,"
That at last she revolted. She up and she bolted
    And entered the militant ranks....
When she died, after breaking nine-tenths of the laws,
She left all her money and jewels to the Cause!

And THE MORAL is this (though a bit abstruse):
What's sauce for a more or less proper goose,
When it rouses the violent, feminine dander,
Is apt to be sauce for the propaganda.

                                                 Louis Untermeyer.


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