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Category: Funny Satire Poems
Classic humorous and funny poems using irony, exaggeration and ridicule, to expose and criticize stupidity and vices. AFTER HORACE  hat asks the Bard? He prays for nought
But what the truly virtuous crave:
That is, the things he plainly ought
To have.
'Tis not for wealth, with all the shocks
That vex distracted millionaires,
Plagued by their fluctuating stocks
And shares:
While plutocrats their millions new
Expend upon each costly whim,
A great deal less than theirs will do
For him:
The simple incomes of the poor
His meek poetic soul content:
Say, £30,000 at four
Per cent.!
His taste in residence is plain:
No palaces his heart rejoice:
A cottage in a lane (Park Lane
For choice)
Here be his days in quiet spent:
Here let him meditate the Muse:
Baronial Halls were only meant
For Jews,
And lands that stretch with endless span
From east to west, from south to north,
Are often much more trouble than
They're worth!
Let epicures who eat too much
Become uncomfortably stout:
Let gourmets feel th' approaching touch
Of gout,--
The Bard subsists on simpler food:
A dinner, not severely plain,
A pint or so of really good
Champagne--
Grant him but these, no care he'll take
Though Laureates bask in Fortune's smile,
Though Kiplings and Corellis make
Their pile:
Contented with a scantier dole
His humble Muse serenely jogs,
Remote from scenes where authors roll
Their logs:
Far from the madding crowd she lurks,
And really cares no single jot
Whether the public read her works
Or not!
A. D. Godley.
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