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Category: Funny Satire Poems
       Classic humorous and funny poems using irony, exaggeration and ridicule, to expose and criticize stupidity and vices.

  ALL'S WELL THAT ENDS WELL  

A friend of mine was married to a scold,
To me he came, and all his troubles told.
Said he, "She's like a woman raving mad."
"Alas! my friend," said I, "that's very bad!"
"No, not so bad," said he; "for, with her, true
I had both house and land, and money too."
        "That was well," said I;
        "No, not so well," said he;
        "For I and her own brother
        Went to law with one another;
        I was cast, the suit was lost,
And every penny went to pay the cost."--
        "That was bad," said I;
        "No, not so bad," said he:
"For we agreed that he the house should keep,
And give to me four score of Yorkshire sheep
All fat, and fair, and fine, they were to be."
"Well, then," said I, "sure that was well for thee?"
        "No, not so well," said he;
        "For, when the sheep I got,
        They every one died of the rot."
        "That was bad," said I;
        "No, not so bad," said he;
        "For I had thought to scrape the fat,
        And keep it in an oaken vat;
Then into tallow melt for winter store."
"Well, then," said I, "that's better than before?"
        "'Twas not so well," said he;
        "For having got a clumsy fellow
        To scrape the fat and melt the tallow;
Into the melting fat the fire catches,
        And, like brimstone matches,
        Burnt my house to ashes."
        "That was bad," said I;
"No! not so bad," said he; "for, what is best,
My scolding wife has gone among the rest."

                                                                        Unknown.


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