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Category: Funny Satire Poems
       Classic humorous and funny poems using irony, exaggeration and ridicule, to expose and criticize stupidity and vices.

  ST. ANTHONY'S SERMON TO THE FISHES  

Saint Anthony at church
Was left in the lurch,
So he went to the ditches
And preached to the fishes.
    They wriggled their tails,
    In the sun glanced their scales.

The carps, with their spawn,
Are all thither drawn;
Have opened their jaws,
Eager for each clause.
    No sermon beside
    Had the carps so edified.

Sharp-snouted pikes,
Who keep fighting like tikes,
Now swam up harmonious
To hear Saint Antonius.
    No sermon beside
    Had the pikes so edified.

And that very odd fish,
Who loves fast-days, the cod-fish,--
The stock-fish, I mean--
At the sermon was seen.
    No sermon beside
    Had the cods so edified.

Good eels and sturgeon,
Which aldermen gorge on,
Went out of their way
To hear preaching that day.
    No sermon beside
    Had the eels so edified.

Crabs and turtles also,
Who always move low,
Made haste from the bottom
As if the devil had got 'em.
    No sermon beside
    The crabs so edified.

Fish great and fish small,
Lords, lackeys, and all,
Each looked at the preacher
Like a reasonable creature.
    At God's word,
    They Anthony heard.

The sermon now ended,
Each turned and descended;
The pikes went on stealing,
The eels went on eeling.
    Much delighted were they,
    But preferred the old way.

The crabs are backsliders,
The stock-fish thick-siders,
The carps are sharp-set--
All the sermon forget.
    Much delighted were they,
    But preferred the old way.

     Abraham Sancta-Clara.


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