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Category: Funny Tribute Poems
       Classic humorous and funny poems using tribute, poetry intended to show respect, gratitude or admiration, but in a whimsical way.


Felis Infelix! Cat unfortunate,
        With nary narrative!
    Canst thou no tail relate
            Of how
    Thy tail end came to terminate so bluntly
    Didst wear it off by
            Sedentary habits
            As do the rabbits?

    Didst go a
            Fishing with it,
            Wishing with it
            To "bob" for catfish,
    And get bobbed thyself?
            Curses on that fish!

    Didst lose it in kittenhood,
            Hungrily chawing it?
    Or, gaily pursuing it,
            Did it make tangent
    From thy swift circuit?

    Did some brother Greyback--
            And howling
    In nocturnal strife,
            Spitting and staring
            Cursing and swearing,
            Ripping and tearing,
            Calling thee "Sausagetail,"
    Abbreviate thy suffix?
    Or did thy jealous wife
            Detect yer
    In some sly flirtation,
            And, after caudal lecture,
    Bite off thy termination?
    And sarve yer right!

    Did some mischievous boy,
            Some barbarous boy,
            Eliminate thy finis?
            The wretch!
            The villain!
            Cruelly spillin'
            Thy innocent blood!

            Furiously scratch him
    Where'er yer may catch him!

    Well, Bob, this course now is left,
    Since thus of your tail you're bereft:
            Tell your friend that by letter
            From Paris
    You have learned the style there is
            To wear the tail short,
            And the briefer the better;
            Such is the passion,
    That every Grimalkin will
            Follow your fashion.


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