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Category: Funny Whimsical Poems
       Classic humorous and funny poems using whimsy. Humourosly quaint and fanciful, especially in an amusing way.

  A BACHELOR'S MONO-RHYME  

Do you think I'd marry a woman
    That can neither cook nor sew,
Nor mend a rent in her gloves
    Or a tuck in her furbelow;
Who spends her time in reading
    The novels that come and go;
Who tortures heavenly music,
    And makes it a thing of woe;
Who deems three-fourths of my income
    Too little, by half, to show
What a figure she'd make, if I'd let her,
    'Mid the belles of Rotten Row;
Who has not a thought in her head
    Where thoughts are expected to grow,
Except of trumpery scandals
    Too small for a man to know?
Do you think I'd wed with that,
    Because both high and low
Are charmed by her youthful graces
    And her shoulders white as snow?
Ah no! I've a wish to be happy,
    I've a thousand a year or so,
'Tis all I can expect
    That fortune will bestow!
So, pretty one, idle one, stupid one!
    You're not for me, I trow,
To-day, nor yet to-morrow,
    No, no! decidedly no!

                 Charlts Mackay.


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