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Category: Funny Whimsical Poems
       Classic humorous and funny poems using whimsy. Humourosly quaint and fanciful, especially in an amusing way.

  O-U-G-H  

I'm taught p-l-o-u-g-h
    S'all be pronouncÈ "plow."
"Zat's easy w'en you know," I say,
    "Mon Anglais, I'll get through!"

My teacher say zat in zat case,
    O-u-g-h is "oo."
And zen I laugh and say to him,
    "Zees Anglais make me cough."

He say "Not 'coo,' but in zat word,
    O-u-g-h is 'off,'"
Oh, Sacre bleu! such varied sounds
    Of words makes me hiccough!

He say, "Again mon frien' ees wrong;
    O-u-g-h is 'up'
In hiccough." Zen I cry, "No more,
    You make my t'roat feel rough."

"Non, non!" he cry, "you are not right;
    O-u-g-h is 'uff.'"
I say, "I try to spik your words,
    I cannot spik zem though!"

"In time you'll learn, but now you're wrong!
    O-u-g-h is 'owe.'"
"I'll try no more, I s'all go mad,
    I'll drown me in ze lough!"

"But ere you drown yourself," said he,
    "O-u-g-h is 'ock.'"
He taught no more, I held him fast,
    And killed him wiz a rough.

                    Charles Battell Loomis.


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