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Category: Funny Women Poems
       Classic humorous and funny poems for women, and about women. The good, the bad, and the lovely.


It worries me to beat the band
To hear folks say our lives is grand;
Wish they'd try some one-night stand.
    Ain't it awful, Mabel?

Nothin' ever seems to suit--
The manager's an awful brute;
Spend our lives jest lookin' cute.
    Ain't it awful, Mabel?

Met a boy last Tuesday night,
Was spendin' money left and right---
Me, gee! I couldn't eat a bite!
    Ain't it awful, Mabel?

Then I met another guy--
Hungry! well, I thought I'd die!
But I couldn't make him buy.
    Ain't it awful, Mabel?

Lots of men has called me dear,
Said without me life was drear,
But men is all so unsincere!
    Ain't it awful, Mabel?

I tell you, life is mighty hard,
I've had proposals by the yard--
Some of 'em would 'a had me starred.
    Ain't it awful, Mabel?

Remember that sealskin sacque of mine?
When I got it, look'd awful fine--
I found out it was a shine.
    Ain't it awful, Mabel?

Prima donna's sore on me;
My roses had her up a tree--
I jest told her to "twenty-three."
    Ain't it awful, Mabel?

My dear, she went right out and wired
The New York office to have me "fired";
But say! 'twas the author had me hired.
    Ain't it awful, Mabel?

I think hotels is awful mean,
Jim and me put out of room sixteen--
An' we was only readin' Laura Jean.
    Ain't it awful, Mabel?

The way folks talk about us too;
For the smallest thing we do--
'Nuff to make a girl feel blue.
    Ain't it awful, Mabel?

My Gawd! is that the overture?
I never will be on, I'm sure--
The things us actresses endure,
    Ain't it awful, Mabel?

                 John Edward Hazzard.

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