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Category: Funny Women Poems
       Classic humorous and funny poems for women, and about women. The good, the bad, and the lovely.

  A BIRD IN THE HAND  

    There were three young maids of Lee;
    They were fair as fair can be,
    And they had lovers three times three,
    For they were fair as fair can be,
    These three young maids of Lee.
But these young maids they cannot find
A lover each to suit her mind;
The plain-spoke lad is far too rough,
The rich young lord is not rich enough,
The one is too poor, and one is too tall,
And one just an inch too short for them all.
"Others pick and choose, and why not we?
We can very well wait," said the maids of Lee.
    There were three young maids of Lee;
    They were fair as fair can be,
    And they had lovers three times three
    For they were fair as fair can be,
    These three young maids of Lee.

    There are three old maids of Lee,
    And they are old as old can be,
    And one is deaf, and one cannot see,
    And they are all as cross as a gallows-tree,
    These three old maids of Lee.
Now, if any one chanced--'tis a chance remote--
One single charm in these maids to note,
He need not a poet nor handsome be,
For one is deaf and one cannot see;
He need not woo on his bended knee,
For they all are willing as willing can be.
He may take the one, or the two, or the three,
If he'll only take them away from Lee.
    There are three old maids at Lee;
    They are cross as cross can be;
    And there they are, and there they'll be
    To the end of the chapter, one, two, three,
    These three old maids of Lee.

                                        Frederic E. Weatherly.


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