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Category: Funny Women Poems
       Classic humorous and funny poems for women, and about women. The good, the bad, and the lovely.


I'd read three hours. Both notes and text
    Were fast a mist becoming;
In bounced a vagrant bee, perplexed,
    And filled the room with humming.

Then out. The casement's leafage sways,
    And, parted light, discloses
Miss Di., with hat and book,--a maze
    Of muslin mixed with roses.

"You're reading Greek?" "I am--and you?"
    "O, mine's a mere romancer!"
"So Plato is." "Then read him--do;
    And I'll read mine in answer."

I read. "My Plato (Plato, too,--
    That wisdom thus should harden!)
Declares 'blue eyes look doubly blue
    Beneath a Dolly Varden.'"

She smiled. "My book in turn avers
    (No author's name is stated)
That sometimes those Philosophers
    Are sadly mis-translated."

"But hear,--the next's in stronger style:
    The Cynic School asserted
That two red lips which part and smile
    May not be controverted!"

She smiled once more--"My book, I find,
    Observes some modern doctors
Would make the Cynics out a kind
    Of album-verse concoctors."

Then I--"Why not? 'Ephesian law,
    No less than time's tradition,
Enjoined fair speech on all who saw
    Diana's apparition.'"

She blushed--this time. "If Plato's page
    No wiser precept teaches,
Then I'd renounce that doubtful sage,
    And walk to Burnham-beeches."

"Agreed," I said. "For Socrates
    (I find he too is talking)
Thinks Learning can't remain at ease
    While Beauty goes a-walking."

She read no more, I leapt the sill:
    The sequel's scarce essential--
Nay, more than this, I hold it still
    Profoundly confidential.

                                        Austin Dobson.

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