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Category: Funny Women Poems
       Classic humorous and funny poems for women, and about women. The good, the bad, and the lovely.

  BEHAVE YOURSEL' BEFORE FOLK  

    Behave yoursel' before folk,
    Behave yoursel' before folk,
And dinna be sae rude to me,
    As kiss me sae before folk.

It wadna gi'e me meikle pain,
Gin we were seen and heard by nane,
To tak' a kiss, or grant you ane;
    But guidsake! no before folk.
        Behave yoursel' before folk,
        Behave yoursel' before folk;
    Whate'er ye do, when out o' view,
        Be cautious aye before folk.

Consider, lad, how folk will crack,
And what a great affair they'll mak'
O' naething but a simple smack,
    That's gi'en or ta'en before folk.
        Behave yoursel' before folk,
        Behave yoursel' before folk;
    Nor gi'e the tongue o' auld or young
        Occasion to come o'er folk.

It's no through hatred o' a kiss,
That I sae plainly tell you this;
But, losh! I tak' it sair amiss
    To be sae teazed before folk.
        Behave yoursel' before folk,
        Behave yoursel' before folk;
    When we're our lane ye may tak' ane,
        But fient a ane before folk.

I'm sure wi' you I've been as free
As ony modest lass should be;
But yet it doesna do to see
    Sic freedom used before folk.
        Behave yoursel' before folk,
        Behave yoursel' before folk;
    I'll ne'er submit again to it--
        So mind you that--before folk.

Ye tell me that my face is fair;
It may be sae--I dinna care--
But ne'er again gar't blush sae sair
    As ye ha'e done before folk.
        Behave yoursel' before folk,
        Behave yoursel' before folk;
    Nor heat my cheeks wi' your mad freaks,
        But aye de douce before folk.

Ye tell me that my lips are sweet,
Sic tales, I doubt, are a' deceit;
At ony rate, it's hardly meet
    To pree their sweets before folk.
        Behave yoursel' before folk,
        Behave yoursel' before folk;
    Gin that's the case, there's time, and place,
        But surely no before folk.

But, gin you really do insist
That I should suffer to be kiss'd,
Gae, get a license frae the priest,
    And mak' me yours before folk.
        Behave yoursel' before folk,
        Behave yoursel' before folk;
    And when we're ane, baith flesh and bane,
        Ye may tak' ten--before folk.

                                                Alexander Rodger.


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