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Category: Funny Women Poems
       Classic humorous and funny poems for women, and about women. The good, the bad, and the lovely.

  FEMININE ARITHMETIC  

                            LAURA
On me he shall ne'er put a ring,
    So, mamma, 'tis in vain to take trouble--
For I was but eighteen in spring
    While his age exactly is double.

                            MAMMA
He's but in his thirty-sixth year,
    Tall, handsome, good-natured and witty,
And should you refuse him, my dear,
    May you die an old maid without pity!

                            LAURA
His figure, I grant you, will pass,
    And at present he's young enough plenty;
But when I am sixty, alas!
    Will not he be a hundred and twenty?

                         Charles Graham Halpine.


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