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Category: Funny Women Poems
       Classic humorous and funny poems for women, and about women. The good, the bad, and the lovely.


Perhaps you may a-noticed I been soht o' solemn lately,
    Haven't been a-lookin' quite so pleasant.
Mabbe I have been a little bit too proud and stately;
    Dat's because I'se lonesome jes' at present.
I an' him agreed to quit a week or so ago,
    Fo' now dat I am in de social swim
I'se 'rived to de opinion dat he ain't my style o' beau,
    So I tole him dat my watch was fas' fo' him.


             Oh, I didn't like his clo'es,
                 An' I didn't like his eyes,
             Nor his walk, nor his talk,
                 Nor his ready-made neckties.
             I didn't like his name a bit,
                 Jes' 'spise the name o' Jim;
             If dem ere reasons ain't enough,
                 I didn't like Him.

Dimon' ring he give to me, an' said it was a fine stone.
    Guess it's only alum mixed wif camphor.
Took it roun' to Eisenstein; he said it was a rhinestone,
    Kind, he said, he didn't give a dam fur.
Sealskin sack he give to me it got me in a row.
    P'liceman called an' asked to see dat sack;
Said another lady lost it. Course I don't know how;
    But I had to go to jail or give it back.


             Oh, I didn't like his trade;
                 Trade dat kep' him out all night.
             He'd de look ob a crook,
                 An' he owned a bull's-eye light.
             So when policemen come to ask
                 What I know 'bout dat Jim,
             I come to de confusion dat
                 I didn't like Him.

                                Harry B. Smith.

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