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Category: Funny Women Poems
       Classic humorous and funny poems for women, and about women. The good, the bad, and the lovely.


Why don't the men propose, mamma?
    Why don't the men propose?
Each seems just coming to the point,
    And then away he goes;
It is no fault of yours, mamma,
    That everybody knows;
You fÍte the finest men in town,
    Yet, oh! they won't propose.

I'm sure I've done my best, mamma,
    To make a proper match;
For coronets and eldest sons,
    I'm ever on the watch;
I've hopes when some distinguÈ beau
    A glance upon me throws;
But though he'll dance and smile and flirt,
    Alas! he won't propose.

I've tried to win by languishing,
    And dressing like a blue;
I've bought big books and talked of them
    As if I'd read them through!
With hair cropp'd like a man I've felt
    The heads of all the beaux;
But Spurzheim could not touch their hearts,
    And oh! they won't propose.

I threw aside the books, and thought
    That ignorance was bliss;
I felt convinced that men preferred
    A simple sort of Miss;
And so I lisped out nought beyond
    Plain "yesses" or plain "noes,"
And wore a sweet unmeaning smile;
    Yet, oh! they won't propose.

Last night at Lady Ramble's rout
    I heard Sir Henry Gale
Exclaim, "Now I propose again----"
    I started, turning pale;
I really thought my time was come,
    I blushed like any rose;
But oh! I found 'twas only at
    EcartÈ he'd propose.

And what is to be done, mamma?
    Oh, what is to be done?
I really have no time to lose,
    For I am thirty-one;
At balls I am too often left
    Where spinsters sit in rows;
Why don't the men propose, mamma?
    Why won't the men propose?

                     Thomas Haynes Bayly.

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