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Category: Funny Banter Poems
       Classic humorous and funny poems in a playful, teasing, and good-natured way.


He girded on his shining sword,
    He clad him in his suit of mail,
He gave his friends the parting word,
    With high resolve his face was pale.
They said, "You've kissed the Papal Toe,
    To great Moguls you've made your bow,
Why will you thus world-wandering go?"
    "I never saw a purple cow!"

"I never saw a purple cow!
    Oh, hinder not my wild emprise--
Let me depart! For even now
    Perhaps, before some yokel's eyes
The purpling creature dashes by,
    Bending its noble, hornĂ‹d brow.
They see its glowing charms, but I--
    I never saw a purple cow!"

"But other cows there be," they said,
    "Both cows of high and low degree,
Suffolk and Devon, brown, black, red,
    The Ayrshire and the Alderney.
Content yourself with these." "No, no,"
    He cried, "Not these! Not these! For how
Can common kine bring comfort? Oh!
    I never saw a purple cow!"

He flung him to his charger's back,
    He left his kindred limp and weak,
They cried: "He goes, alack! alack!
    The unattainable to seek."
But westward still he rode--pardee!
    The West! Where such freaks be; I vow,
I'd not be much surprised if he
    Should some day see

                             Hilda Johnson.

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