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Category: Funny Bathos Poems
       Classic humorous and funny poems ranging from the sublime to the trivial and ridiculous.

  THE HUSBAND'S PETITION  

Come hither, my heart's darling,
    Come, sit upon my knee,
And listen, while I whisper,
    A boon I ask of thee.
You need not pull my whiskers
    So amorously, my dove;
'Tis something quite apart from
    The gentle cares of love.

I feel a bitter craving--
    A dark and deep desire,
That glows beneath my bosom
    Like coals of kindled fire.
The passion of the nightingale,
    When singing to the rose,
Is feebler than the agony
    That murders my repose!

Nay, dearest! do not doubt me,
    Though madly thus I speak--
I feel thy arms about me,
    Thy tresses on my cheek:
I know the sweet devotion
    That links thy heart with mine--
I know my soul's emotion
    Is doubly felt by thine:

And deem not that a shadow
    Hath fallen across my love:
No, sweet, my love is shadowless,
    As yonder heaven above.
These little taper fingers--
    Ah! Jane, how white they be!--
Can well supply the cruel want
    That almost maddens me.

Thou wilt not sure deny me
    My first and fond request;
I pray thee, by the memory
    Of all we cherish best--
By all the dear remembrance
    Of those delicious days,
When, hand in hand, we wandered
    Along the summer braes:

By all we felt, unspoken,
    When 'neath the early moon,
We sat beside the rivulet,
    In the leafy month of June;
And by the broken whisper,
    That fell upon my ear,
More sweet than angel-music,
    When first I woo'd thee, dear!

By that great vow which bound thee
    Forever to my side,
And by the ring that made thee
    My darling and my bride!
Thou wilt not fail nor falter,
    But bend thee to the task--
|A boiled sheep's head on Sunday|
    Is all the boon I ask.

                         William E. Aytoun.


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