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Category: Funny Burlesque Poems
       Classic humorous and funny poems using comic imitation and exaggeration in an absurd way.


The town of Nice! the town of Nice!
    Where once mosquitoes buzzed and stung,
And never gave me any peace,
    The whole year round when I was young!
        Eternal winter chills it yet,
        It's always cold, and mostly wet.

Lord Brougham sate on the rocky brow,
    Which looks on sea-girt Cannes, I wis,
But wouldn't like to sit there now,
    Unless 'twere warmer than it is;
        I went to Cannes the other day,
        But found it much too damp to stay.

The mountains look on Monaco,
    And Monaco looks on the sea;
And, playing there some hours ago,
    I meant to win enormously;
        But, tho' my need of coin was bad
        I lost the little that I had.

Ye have the southern charges yet--
    Where is the southern climate gone?
Of two such blessings, why forget
    The cheaper and the seemlier one?
        My weekly bill my wrath inspires;
        Think ye I meant to pay for fires?

Why should I stay? No worse art thou,
    My country! on thy genial shore
The local east-winds whistle now,
    The local fogs spread more and more;
        But in the sunny south, the weather
        Beats all you know of put together.

I cannot eat--I cannot sleep--
    The waves are not so blue as I;
Indeed, the waters of the deep
    Are dirty-brown, and so's the sky:
        I get dyspepsia when I dine--
        Oh, dash that pint of country-wine!

                                    Herman C. Merivale.

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