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Category: Funny Satire Poems
       Classic humorous and funny poems using irony, exaggeration and ridicule, to expose and criticize stupidity and vices.

  OFFICER BRADY  

                         I

        Sez Alderman Grady
        To Officer Brady:
        "G'wan! Ye're no lady!
            Luk here what ye've done:
        Ye've run in Red Hogan,
        Ye've pulled Paddy Grogan,
        Ye've fanned Misther Brogan
            An' called him a 'gun'!

"Way up in Tammany Hall
They's a gintleman layin' f'r you!
'An' what,' sez he, 't' 'ell,' sez he,
'Does the villyun mane to do?
Lock up the ass in his shtall!
He'll rue the day I rue,
F'r he's pulled the dive that kapes me alive,
An' he'll go to the goats! Whurroo!'"

                         II

        Sez Alderman Grady
        To Officer Brady:
        "Ye pinched young Mullady
            F'r crackin' a safe!
        An' Sinitor Moran
        An' Alderman Doran
        Is inside, a-roarin'
            F'r justice, ye thafe!

"'Way up in Tammany Hall
They's a gintleman layin' f'r you!
'What's this,' sez he, 'I hear?' sez he--
An' the air, bedad, grew blue!
'Well, I nivver did hear av such gall!
But if phwat ye say is thrue,
He's pulled a fri'nd av a fri'nd av me fri'nd,
An' he'll go to the goats! Whurroo!"

                        III

        Sez Alderman Grady
        To Officer Brady:
        "Here's Sullivan's lady
            Cavoortin' an' riled;
        She lifted a locket
        From Casey's coat pocket,
        An' it goes to the docket,
            An' Sullivan's wild!

"'Way up in Tammany Hall
They's a gintleman layin' f'r you!
''Tis a shame,' sez he, 'f'r to blame,' sez he,
'A lady so fair an' thrue,
An' so divinely tall'--
'Tis po'ms he talked, ye Jew!
An' ye've cooked yer goose, an' now ye're loose
F'r to folly the goats! Whurroo!"

                         IV

        Sez Alderman Grady
        To Officer Brady:
        "Where's Katie Macready,
            The Confidence Queen?
        She's niece to O'Lafferty's
        Cousins, the Caffertys--
        Sinitor Rafferty's
            Steady colleen!

"'Way up in Tammany Hall
They's a gintleman layin' f'r you!
'He's pinched,' sez he, 'an' cinched,' sez he,
'A lady tray comme eel foo!
Go dangle th' tillyphone call,
An' gimme La Mulberry Roo,
F'r the town is too warrm f'r this gendarme,
An' he'll go to the goats, mon Dieu!'"

                         V

        Sez Alderman Grady
        To Officer Brady:
     "McCabe is afraid he
            Can't open to-night,
     F'r throuble's a-brewin',
        An' mischief's a-stewin',
        Wid nothin' a-doin'
            An' everything tight!
        There's Register Ronnell,
        Commissioner Donnell,
        An' Congressman Connell
            Preparin' f'r flight;
        The Dhistrict Attorney
        Told Magistrate Kearny
        That Captain McBurney
            Was dyin' o' fright!

"Oh!
'Way up in Tammany Hall
They's a gintleman lookin' f'r you!
'Bedad,' sez he, 'he's mad,' sez he.
'So turrn on the screw f'r Bellevue,
An' chain 'im ag'in' the wall,
An' lather 'im wan or two,
An' tether 'im out on the Bloomin'dale route
Like a loonytick goat! Whurroo!'"

                                             Robert W. Chambers.


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