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Category: Funny Satire Poems
       Classic humorous and funny poems using irony, exaggeration and ridicule, to expose and criticize stupidity and vices.

  THE POSITIVISTS  

Life and the Universe show spontaneity:
Down with ridiculous notions of Deity!
        Churches and creeds are all lost in the mists;
        Truth must be sought with the Positivists.

Wise are their teachers beyond all comparison,
Comte, Huxley, Tyndall, Mill, Morley, and Harrison;
        Who will adventure to enter the lists
        With such a squadron of Positivists?

Social arrangements are awful miscarriages;
Cause of all crime is our system of marriages.
        Poets with sonnets, and lovers with trysts,
        Kindle the ire of the Positivists.

Husbands and wives should be all one community,
Exquisite freedom with absolute unity.
        Wedding-rings worse are than manacled wrists--
        Such is the creed of the Positivists.

There was an ape in the days that were earlier;
Centuries passed, and his hair became curlier;
        Centuries more gave a thumb to his wrist--
        Then he was Man, and a Positivist.

If you are pious (mild form of insanity)
Bow down and worship the mass of humanity.
        Other religions are buried in mists;
        We're our own Gods, say the Positivists.

                                                 Mortimer Collins.


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