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Category: Funny Satire Poems
       Classic humorous and funny poems using irony, exaggeration and ridicule, to expose and criticize stupidity and vices.

  TRUE TO POLL  

I'll sing you a song, not very long,
    But the story somewhat new,
Of William Kidd, who, whatever he did,
    To his Poll was always true.
He sailed away in a galliant ship
    From the port of old Bristol,
        And the last words he uttered,
        As his hankercher he fluttered,
    Were, "My heart is true to Poll."

        His heart was true to Poll,
        His heart was true to Poll,
            It's no matter what you do
            If your heart be only true:
        And his heart was true to Poll.

'Twas a wreck. William, on shore he swam,
    And looked about for an inn;
When a noble savage lady, of a color rather shady,
    Came up with a kind of grin:
"Oh, marry me, and a king you'll be,
    And in a palace loll;
        Or we'll eat you willy-nilly."
        So he gave his hand, did Billy,
    But his heart was true to Poll.

Away a twelvemonth sped, and a happy life he led
    As the King of the Kikeryboos;
His paint was red and yellar, and he used a big umbrella,
    And he wore a pair of over-shoes;
He'd corals and knives, and twenty-six wives,
    Whose beauties I cannot here extol;
        One day they all revolted,
        So he back to Bristol bolted,
    For his heart was true to Poll.

        His heart was true to Poll,
        His heart was true to Poll,
            It's no matter what you do
            If your heart be only true:
        And his heart was true to Poll.

                                         F. C. Burnand.


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