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Category: Funny Women Poems
       Classic humorous and funny poems for women, and about women. The good, the bad, and the lovely.

  MY MISTRESS'S BOOTS  

They nearly strike me dumb,
And I tremble when they come
    Pit-a-pat:
This palpitation means
These boots are Geraldine's--
    Think of that!

Oh, where did hunter win
So delectable a skin
    For her feet?
You lucky little kid,
You perished, so you did,
    For my sweet!

The faÎry stitching gleams
On the sides, and in the seams,
    And it shows
The Pixies were the wags
Who tipt those funny tags
    And these toes.

What soles to charm an elf!
Had Crusoe, sick of self,
    Chanced to view
One printed near the tide,
Oh, how hard he would have tried
    For the two!

For Gerry's debonair
And innocent, and fair
    As a rose;
She's an angel in a frock,
With a fascinating cock
    To her nose.

The simpletons who squeeze
Their extremities to please
    Mandarins,
Would positively flinch
From venturing to pinch
    Geraldine's.

Cinderella's lefts and rights,
To Geraldine's were frights;
    And I trow,
The damsel, deftly shod,
Has dutifully trod
    Until now.

Come, Gerry, since it suits
Such a pretty Puss (in Boots)
    These to don;
Set this dainty hand awhile
On my shoulder, dear, and I'll
    Put them on.

    Frederick Locker-Lampson.


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