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Category: Funny Women Poems
       Classic humorous and funny poems for women, and about women. The good, the bad, and the lovely.

  THE CONSTANT CANNIBAL MAIDEN  

Far, oh, far is the Mango island,
    Far, oh, far is the tropical sea--
Palms a-slant and the hills a-smile, and
    A cannibal maiden a-waiting for me.

I've been deceived by a damsel Spanish,
    And Indian maidens both red and brown,
A black-eyed Turk and a blue-eyed Danish,
    And a Puritan lassie of Salem town.

For the Puritan Prue she sets in the offing,
    A-castin' 'er eyes at a tall marine,
And the Spanish minx is the wust at scoffing
    Of all of the wimming I ever seen.

But the cannibal maid is a simple creetur,
    With a habit of gazin' over the sea,
A-hopin' in vain for the day I'll meet 'er,
    And constant and faithful a-yearnin' for me.

Me Turkish sweetheart she played me double--
    Eloped with the Sultan Harum In-Deed,
And the Danish damsel she made me trouble
    When she ups and married an oblong Swede.
But there's truth in the heart of the maid o' Mango,
    Though her cheeks is black like the kiln-baked cork,
As she sets in the shade o' the whingo-whango,
    A-waitin' for me--with a knife and fork.

                                                            Wallace Irwin.


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